Here’s What I Learned in College that Wasn’t Taught in a Classroom

Yesterday, I graduated college. (I know. I still don’t believe it.) No more graded assignments. No more late-night classes. No more pounding my head against a brick wall, because Jimmy didn’t do jack shit for our group project, yet he still got an A+. Just smooth-sailing adulthood from here on out. (Ha!)

It’s weird to think of myself as an alumna and a “real” adult. Do I feel like either of those titles? Hell no. But no matter how I feel, I am sitting here with a journalism degree and a resume that screams, “Hire me!” (I’m not kidding. Please. Hire me.)

Looking back on the last four years, it’s been quite a wild ride of highs and lows: I’ve laughed too damn hard that I couldn’t breathe and tears fell from my eyes; I’ve hurt others, and I’ve been hurt (but I bounce back every time, baby); I’ve scrubbed moldy gunk from my apartment’s shower which hadn’t been cleaned in months; I’ve opened up to people, and they’ve opened up to me; I’ve tasted the dining hall’s powdered eggs, soggy lettuce and weird mixture of lemonade and water when the soda machine was broken.

You could say I truly feasted on the melting pot of experiences college brings.

It’s through these experiences that I’ve transformed into the person I am today. Could 18-year-old Jane have predicted that she’d blossom into the angelic, truly awe-inspiring woman she is today? No. And that’s kind of exciting, isn’t it? You don’t really know what your life will look like in four years, or even a few months, and it’s that curiosity that keeps me inspired to keep goin’.

So, to give a last “Hip! Hip! Huzzah!” to college, I decided to round up a few lessons I learned within the past four years. (Now, of course, I learned a lot more than 50 things, but 50 is all you’re gettin’.)

Here are 50 things I learned while I was in college:

The more you talk about your feelings, the easier it is to talk about them.
When you’re talking with someone, give them your full attention. Put down your phone, look them in the eye, ask them questions and listen.
Who you surround yourself with directly affects your happiness. Make sure they’re people who support you during your highs and lows.
No emotion is the final state.
Trader Joe’s cookie butter ice cream will change your life. Seriously.
You aren’t as alone as you think you are.
Therapy isn’t just about showing up — it’s about doing the work inside and outside of the office.
Failure doesn’t detract from your hard work.
Your body, your beliefs, your relationships, your plans — everything is allowed to change.
Recovery isn’t linear. You’ll have good days, and you’ll have bad days.
Social media doesn’t deserve the amount of time you spend on it.
You are worthy of your own love too.
Working on yourself isn’t an overnight process.
Every once and awhile, you’ll feel a significant weight lift off of your shoulders after a therapy session, and it’ll feel great. Those moments don’t happen very often, but that doesn’t mean therapy isn’t “working.”
It’s OK to create art that no one ever sees. Art is for yourself.
To love and be loved is a wonderful thing.
Accept yourself before you love yourself.
Other people are not sources of your own joy. Others can support and uplift your joys, but you are your own source of joy.
Good people can sometimes make mistakes. That doesn’t make them bad people.
Clean your dishes as soon as you’re done eating. Otherwise, they’ll pile up in the sink for days, no one will wash them and flies will swarm.
You can be in a relationship and still have mental disorders. You’re not going to “ruin” it.
People admire imperfection a lot more than perfection.
There is a difference between real happiness and distracting yourself from your pain. To live a more fulfilling life, you must face that pain.
People should add comfort to your life, not stress. If they do add stress, cut them out. It hurts, but you need to do it for yourself.
It’s OK if you don’t know why you’re sad. Not everything needs an explanation.
Big tasks are easier if you break them down into smaller pieces.
Wearing patterned pants is a lot more fun than wearing jeans. (It’s basically like wearing pajamas.)
Don’t let age or numbers define you. You don’t need to be “successful” by age 25. You are allowed to take life at your own pace.
Forgiveness grants you peace.
Forgiveness does not mean you have to let them back into your life.
What they say is true — once you get a tattoo, you do want more. A lot more.
Your hometown isn’t as bad as you think it is, but you should still get out and see the world.
Not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay forever. But, oftentimes, the lessons they teach us last forever.
Growth requires stepping out of your comfort zone.
If you feel ashamed for going to community college, you certainly aren’t alone. But community college is full of enriching people and experiences. Try not to carry that shame forever.
You don’t have to save a million people, or even five, to make a difference in the world. You don’t have to make a grand gesture either. Simply being kind does more good than you know.
Just because someone doesn’t find you attractive, doesn’t mean you are unattractive.
People aren’t judging you as hard as you think they are.
Home isn’t a place. It’s a feeling.
Avocado on toast with an egg and Trader Joe’s Everything Bagel Seasoning slaps. (I don’t care how much of a white girl cliché it is.)
Sometimes, the people who you thought wouldn’t hurt you will hurt you. It sucks, but try not to lose faith in others.
Positivity doesn’t mean forcing yourself to be happy all of them. It means feeling all of life’s emotions and not letting them cloud your outlook on life.
Heartbreak feels exactly as it sounds, but it’s not the end of the world.
That thing you’ve been dreaming of? Start it today, even if you don’t feel ready. You’ll never be fully ready, and you’ll never know what you’re capable of until you try.
You can’t run from being alone with your thoughts. Shake hands with your thoughts. Make peace with them. But don’t let them, or your fear of them, control your life.
It’s OK to let go of the things you thought you wanted. You’re not letting your past self down.
Don’t take things too personally. Most of the time, it’s not a personal vendetta against you.
Not everyone’s definition of “success” will match yours, nor should it. Success is doing what makes you happy.
It’s better to be alone than to be with people who make you feel alone.
Happiness isn’t necessarily defined by a milestone, like getting a degree, landing a job or going on a vacation — happiness is finding beauty in the everyday moments.

Although it hasn’t been all good all of the time — I mean, I wouldn’t have this blog if it had been peachy keen 24/7 — college was an unforgettable experience I wouldn’t trade for anything.

Congrats to my fellow Zoom University graduates, and here’s to graduating in an uncertain world and shitty job market! 🥂

Your friend,
Jane

P.S. What are some lessons that college has taught you? Let me know in the comments below!